Virtual Emotions
by TereT
Summary: What Sam was thinking during S8's Avatar. Minor S/J shippiness.


Virtual Emotions by Tere T

Season 8, Scene insert for Avatar

Major Spoilers

Standard fic disclaimers

"_Teal'c, I've almost got this figured out—I'm not your enemy," Carter pleaded. Teal'c held his weapon steady._

"_Teal'c! Put down your weapon—that's an order!" O'Neill's voice cracked under the strain, the naquadah generator blipping and blinking brighter as its internal clock ticked closer to oblivion._

Sam's eyes darted from Teal'c and Daniel, strapped into their chairs, their minds running the never-ending simulation, to the onscreen computerized representation of her team to the living, breathing General O'Neill standing beside her. She held her breath while she waited for Teal'c to make his decision, flinching when he did.

It hurt to see Teal'c shoot Carter. It hurt watching the simulated Carter drop to the concrete floor, knowing that if the situation presented itself in the field, Teal'c could easily repeat his actions.

"Carter!" O'Neill screamed, shooting at Teal'c and Daniel as he dove for her. Hit by Teal'c's fire O'Neill collapsed over Carter, his dying action to curl protectively around her limp body. The onscreen view switched—Teal'c and Daniel both went down. Dead. And the simulation reset.

"It's okay, Colonel," O'Neill whispered to her. Medical personnel flurried around the many pieces of equipment monitoring Daniel's and Teal'c's vital signs. "They're getting closer. They'll figure it out next time."

His breath was warm against her neck, and its warmth sent chills down her arms and back. If only he knew. It wasn't Daniel and Teal'c. Well, it was—it was their lives on the line—but it was also how the computer projected the general and herself.

Dr. Lee had said the thing was designed to learn and adapt. It was learning from Teal'c. And so was she. She never knew how obvious O'Neill's feelings were for her. She always thought that only she realized how often he checked on her when they were on an off-world mission. Or how he deferred to her judgment even when time dictated he take immediate action.

In an earlier scenario the simulated Carter very nearly stopped the base's destruction by the naquadah reactor. She was shocked to see that in previous scenarios in which Sim Carter tried to do that, O'Neill always seemed to be there—always watching her back.

In scenarios in which O'Neill had died immediately, Sim Carter always had confronted Teal'c about the general's condition. Each time, the simulation suffered visibly when told he was dead. It almost seemed that Sim Carter worked harder to save the base in the simulations in which O'Neill was alive; like Teal'c picked up that she'd rather not have a reality without the general. Even in a virtual reality.

That was just like him, too, Teal'c's version of the general. O'Neill would always go down firing to save her. She guessed she should be glad that he wasn't in the field any longer. Though they still worked closely, maybe the physical distance of not being on the same team day in and day out would put a more professional distance between them too.

Sam glanced to the general. He still stood beside her, his gaze transfixed to the graphics on the flat screen, his short hair ruffled and standing on end from the countless times he'd ran his hands over his head, his mark of frustration.

Sighing, Sam turned her attention back to the monitor. Rolling her head to work out the tension in her neck, she wondered how much longer she could watch this. Her head hurt from the countless permutations of the scenario. The general had the luxury of leaving to handle other SGC issues, but she'd been here for hours. Then again, so had Teal'c, and she knew his repeated virtual deaths had been harder on him than on her watching them.

It dawned on her why the general had left—the repeated deaths. God, this had to bring back bad memories for him. It hit close to home for her. Fifth had made her virtually relive some of her worst experiences: Jolinar's torture at the hands of Sokar and Nurrti's genetic experiments had been only the beginning. Then, there had been Fifth's fantasies of what he thought would be a happy existence for her. Sadly, it wasn't Pete's angry outburst that clued her into Fifth's fantasy, she'd been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior a couple times recently, but it was that Fifth thought a life away from what she lived would give her happiness.

_Siler suddenly came to life, his eyes glowing, and fired a handgun. _

"_Carter!" Sim O'Neill yelled. _

_Returning fire, Teal'c hit the technician repeatedly, Siler's body jerking from the rapid fire impacts. _

_Then it was over. Siler lay in a smoking, bloody mass on the floor. Daniel put his hand on Teal'c's shoulder while the Jaffa watched O'Neill move to Sim Carter._

"_You okay, Colonel?"_

_Sim Carter nodded, her eyes never leaving O'Neill's._

"Is it finished?" Daniel blinked as if he'd just awakened from a bad dream.

Sam smiled at Daniel. "Yeah, you did it." Teal'c moved. It was the first time he'd moved voluntarily since entering the game. "Shutting off power to both chairs." She stepped behind the alien equipment to disconnect the power source.

"O'Neill, we have won," Teal'c said. His voice was hoarse, like he'd been talking for hours and hours on end.

"Well, it's what we do," said General O'Neill.

Right. It only took hours and hours and endless resets to win. Had it been a real time scenario, they all would have died. No resets. No extra lives. Game over.

Sam watched Teal'c and the general, jealous of their ability to show their brotherly feelings for each other. Life and death scenarios did that, let you show your true feelings for someone.

She knew she should go home. Pete would be waiting. Heck, she was surprised he hadn't called during this crisis. Maybe he had—she dreaded checking her voicemail.

"Colonel?" O'Neill somehow had come up behind her while she'd been lost in her thoughts. Daniel and Teal'c were leaving the room.

"General?" Sam smiled, trying to cover that she'd been in la-la land.

"We're going for beers. I might even spring for pretzels. You in?"

"Sure, sir. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The game wasn't over yet. Maybe if she paid attention to her choices, she might even come out a winner. Or maybe fate would provide a reset for her. Only time would tell.


End file.
